At Dark I Become Loathsome
by Eric LaRocca
January 2025
Big Bald Head / Blackstone Publishing
240 pages
Horror / Suspense
I was instantly drawn to the morose character Ashley Lutin. If you’ve ever lingered too long over the bloodied, discarded wings of a mourning dove on the concrete steps of your office—pondering, maybe even admiring—you might be too. Lutin reminds me of a character we meet near the end of the film Haunt: heavily tattooed, pierced, and implanted with horns. Having friends and fascination with body modification I was doubly drawn to him. I can see why his clients never seemed to shy away.
From the back jacket:
“… the peace of the grave is not for him–it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx–a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual–who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations…”
The cover art was a draw, and while I feared the description hinted at a disparate story with too many threads and moving parts strung too loosely, the opposite is true—this is a very tight and linear story. That’s not to say we don’t move back and forth in time as we get to know the players and their motivations—what is a good story without a little story? But at its core, this is a narrow, focused narrative. It is also a very dark one. How else could a story about this kind of ritual be anything but dark and narrow… like a coffin, let’s say.
Without giving anything away, I’ll say I loved the premise, the tone, the ritual itself. I liked the repetitious nature of the “paperwork” that serves as our library scene or exposition about the ritual hinted at in the back jacket copy, as well as the mantra that the words “at dark I become loathsome” becomes. LaRocca uses it frequently throughout the book, and I worried it might become loathsome itself, but it fit—and it worked—every single time. These are exactly the kinds of tactics that might drive other readers away.
After not having the best time with a previous horror novel from the author (though I did enjoy his famed novella …Since We Last Spoke), I can now say I’m firmly a fan and look forward to more.
Thank you so much to Blackstone Publishing for sending me a beautiful review copy! While my opinion is honestly my own, this is a perfect addition to my shelf.